Living with Alopecia (Hair Loss)

I was diagnosed with Oral Lichen Planus 5 years ago a byopsy was done to rule out mouth cancer. I have been using a steroid cream now for 5 years, it has not improved. A year ago I was told by a ENT that I just have to live with it and continue using another stronger steroid cream *clobetosol*. The cream tastes terrible and it makes my breath hot and smell like metal. The byopsy also showed that it was caused by NSAID drugs and amalgam fillings in my mouth. I had a back tooth removed as it was causing me to bite my cheek and inflame the sore. That helped a little but I have so many more fillings on that side that I still occasoionaly bite myself and the sore never heals completely. I can go for periods of days or months without having to use the cream, but then I get a flare up and I am back to using it 3 times a day. That many times starts to affect my stomach by making it feel upset. I have seen a Dermatologist today and she now thinks that I also have the planopilaris kind too. For the past 5 years I have noticed my hair thinning, I can see my scalp and practically count the hair at the front of my head. This is making me feel depressed. Some can say get over it it is only hair, but untill I reach that stage I am afraid I am going to feel embarassed and unhappy. I have to have a byopsy tomorow to see to rule out planopilaris. I also had blood work done to rule out thyroid problems and iron deficiencies. My scalp constantly itches and is tender to touch. It feels like I am pushing a bristle brush into it when I touch my hair. At night it is hard to position my head on the pillow because my scalp or hair hurts.
I also am postmenopausal 8 years now, estrogen levels drop and the only thing I take for my symptoms is a product called Remifemin. It has helped me with my hot flashes.
I would like to know if anyone else has experienced hair loss with Lichen planus and if they would share with me their coping skill.
My husband had a stroke 5 years ago and my stress level had increased full tilt, I thought it was that too. I now do everything for him and for me, sometimes it is just too much. That I have learned to cope with time. This I am not sure how to deal with. Hats are out I can’t stand the itching it causes when I wear one.
Wel this is my story, will update when I hear more information, thanks for listening
Angie