for years i lived with depression but never sought help. this slowly drove me to the blink of suicide that i felt was the only way out. i drank to forget things that happened and i failed at 3 marriages because i never really understood what was happening. after my last attemp (i had the meanins of killing myself ready, letters wrote asking to be forgiven) i made the call that really saved my life. my doctor instead of putting me in the hospital sent me to a psychotherapist who was to become my lifesaver. at first i refused to open up but slowly i did. with her help i took a close hard look at my life and was able to open up and talk about things that happened. from seeing my best friends die during combat to the lost of my brother and parents i was finally able to deal with it and put those ghosts that so long haunted me. she gave me a new lease on life and the tools on how to deal with it. without her help and letting me know that it was ok for a man to cry, i would have probably killed myself. it is still a everyday struggle but with her help and understanding the future is a lot brighter. i have learned that it is ok to have problems and it does not make one weak to seek help.