My IC pain is so severe today i had to leave my job. i had to sacrifice the money not yet made. the money much needed for food, shelter, essentials because i was too painful to think. i felt i wasn’t fully conscious at my low paying job. my pain made me hate everything. My job, ,my body, my house, everything. i called my urologist he’s too busy to see me. i called an alternative health consultant, a health integrationist) she’s busy and can’t see me until 2 weeks from today and she is too busy to talk, and she doesn’t need to see me in person. (i can ‘consult’ with her over the phone. strange way to assess someone, especially when they are so concerned about ‘our holistic health’ she doesn’t own a cell phone and is actively against ’smart rids’. but yet, she doesn’t see you when she gives you health improvement advice.) i hate the fact that i don’t have the $150 that she wants before she can consult by phone. i hate that my health insurance will pay my urologist ridiculous amounts of cash and after almost 35 years, i still have pain. I hate berkeley. i wish i lived out in the country (where the health integrationist gets to live). I hate not being able to stay at home and write grants. instead i have an awful job. (a job that i have to ride my bike to because i have no car cuz my job doesn’t pay enough. by the time i get to work i am in pain from the bike seat rubbing and i tend to stand and pedal to prevent that and then i get to work and i am tired and hurting) Once at work i am running, lifting and pushing all day. in actuality i am racing to and from the bathroom peeing every 20 minutes more than anything. i hate my bladder. i am ready to move on. Fire my urologist research herbs, essences, diet, meditation and GET A GRANTWRITING JOB NOW!!!!!

can anyone relate?
Thanks for allowing my ventilation. Very Healing
Gina